The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
