you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I understand Curling. That high.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
