none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
