He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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