Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
