As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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