I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm too high and old for this...
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize