what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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