At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
