Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
