You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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