you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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