think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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