You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
