Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
