marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize