I want to stick my p in your. b.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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