Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize