How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
