wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize