I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
