high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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