6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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