fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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