I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
