Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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