K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
