It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
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