I just pynch a tree in the face
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
porn star boner night. come get it.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
