I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
