i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
