my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
