I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
This can only be settled by a dance off.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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