And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I need to calm my uterus...
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
