Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
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And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
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When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize