I am puke
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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