I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
So squirting runs in the family.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
