If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
