1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
