I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
