it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
