brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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