wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
