Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
