Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
