im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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