He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
