K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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