Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
