This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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