she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
