return my video game
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
