I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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