yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
