I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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