party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
