god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
