I never want to see another naked old woman again.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
