Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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