I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
either way he was missing a nipple.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
