Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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