i think i have two assholes
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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