Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
