She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
