My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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