I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
