Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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