I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
